The thoughts, reflections, rants, raves, on my life; The life of a Christian, black, gay, male.

Some of you may have known this in the years of knowing me, Some of you may have found this out on the news, but for the past Seven years my grandmother has been missing. She disappeared right before Christmas 2002. My family and I took this loss very hard and some family bonds have been especially strained because of that loss. We searched and searched but to no avail. My aunt even went as far as to go to most of the local news stations and ask them to help in the search. The television stations had promised her air time but the day before they were going to run the story all of the stations bumped the story. A pregnant woman by the name of Lacy Peterson had gone missing, ( this is in no way meant to disrespect to the Peterson family and friends). We found out that a missing young pregnant woman pulled in higher viewer ratings than a missing elderly black woman.

We continued to search and search still there were no leads. The open wounds and confusion did not ever go away but slowly we moved on and passed them.

Yesterday afternoon while I was spending time with my mother, sister, and nephew my aunt called us with the horrible news that she had found my grandmother's remains inside of the her house.

My grandmother was an extreme pack rat, she collected any and everything and for years we begged and pleaded with her to get rid of some of her things but she never did. She did not throw anything away and when she did it was a battle to get her to do so. Over the course of years after her disaperance my family took it upon themselves to don the task of cleaning out her house. When we first entered the house after her I was told that there were boxes and bags to the ceiling, and that was after boxes and bags were cleared away to even get in the door. This might have been why none of us or the police ever found her over the years.

My Grandmother was also a very handy, and self-reliant woman. She taught me ( my mother, aunts, uncles,) how to make many home made products( soap, lotion, shaving cream e.c.t.) like she did in her youth.

These past few days have been very trying and tough and I thank everyone whom has showed their concern. I also Thank KTVU news (channel 2) for doing a wonderful job in reporting the TRUE story of my grandmother and thank you Virgina Taylor for your kind words. I'm really ashamed of the story that KPIX news (channel 5) reported that made my grandmother out to be some blight upon the neighborhood and talking to that woman who wanted to keep identity secret, whom did not even know my grandmother and told all those horrible lies about her.

Again thank you to all of my friends that have shown concern. Thank you for your prayers and I ask you all to keep praying for me and my family.

thank you


The first thing that I will say is that this is an amazing book. This is well worth the trip down to the local bookstore; finding the Psychology section; searching through what is really "self-help" (late night crapola that has become popular) to find this gem. If you're like most people then you'll probably go to amazon or some other place so I will save you the trouble and post the link.


Now to the book.

Edited by Joseph Campbell ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Campbell) and translated by R.F.C. Hull this collection of works (which I've found to be very extensive but by far just the tip of the proverbial iceberg) is humbly life changing.

It took me a bit longer to finish this book than what I thought mainly because I underestimated how much I would love this book. I underestimated how much that I would want to dissect and ponder line by line, page by page of the shear soundness of the logic, reason, and thought that this book revealed. Also, throwing it in the back pack and forgetting it; reading on lunch breaks, the Bart, bus, and before sleep and not being diligent for an hour a day like I normally am added a few weeks.
This tome opens with his "Stages of Life" which discusses the stages of psychological development (and problems there of) as a person ages. The child state or "the unbearable age" which is marked by birth and roughly through puberty where it is said that one said to be govern by "instinct" rather than conscience. The next state roughly is from puberty to mid life where he explains the the development of "self" and the desire for one to gain achievement, social standing, family, friends, religion. Then the last stage where he discuses logically and insightfully the latter part of life. He explains how and why some people become rigid, unwilling to embrace anything "new" and or "different" to the other extreme of rejecting the "old way" or "mid life crisis". The riding of what has worked in the past to embrace any idea that is new and different.

The next work is "The Structure of the Psyche". Here we are introduced to one of the most famous and ground breaking ideas in modern psychological thought "Collective Unconscious"

The collective unconscious so far as we can say anything about it at all appears to consist of mythological motifs or primordial images, for which reason the myths of all nations are its real exponents. In fact, the whole of mythology could be taken as a sort of projection of the collective unconscious.

C. G. Jung
This idea in its time not only revolutionized the world of psychology but the world in general. The idea that all people no matter what or where are connected not just by the mere physically form of the human being but in some way the human mind is also connected to all other human minds. This idea still sends chills down some spines while being disregarded at the same time. If we fast forward to chapter 4 "The Concept of the Collective Unconscious" Jung goes more in dept in his explanation of his idea and introduces the archetypal factors of collective unconscious.

If we fast forward another 4 chapters we get to what Jung is probably most famous for "Psychological Types". Here he introduces the "Introvert" and the "Extraverted" types. Which again has been so revolutionary they remain a part of our lexicon and are halfway understood by most people today. I challenge anyone to fill out an survey online (for fun or for work) and not see the question

Are you more introverted or extraverted?

A word of cation; when reading understand (and it is said at the end of the chapter) most people are a mixture of both and most people gravitate slightly more to one or the other. So don't freak out if you see yourself in one of these types because he does get down and dirty in explaining the failings of both. The problem arises when one is so extreme that one is strictly one or the other. Again that is likely not to happen but, compared to modern psychological studies you see how one can easily fall in OCD patterns or bouts of exhibitionism. This chapter was one of my favorites in the whole book I read it twice which again added to the time.

Going back a few chapters to 6 "Aion: Phenomenology of Self" I think is another one of the pillars that modern psychology is based upon. If your a dork like me you will absolutely love every single word and eventually end up highlighting every page of this chapter.

Part 2 of the book was however a tad bit disappointing. The fervor that worked you into fanatic fascination in part one was brought to a mild hum in part two. "The Transcendent function" I found agreeable and a natural fulfillment of chapters 3, 4, 5, and 6. I disagree with his stand point in "Relation of Analytical Psychology to Poetry.

Art by its very nature is not science, and science by its very nature is not art; both these spheres of the mind have something in reserve that is peculiar to them and can be explained only in its own terms. Hence when we speak of the relation of psychology to art, we shall treat only of that aspect of art which can be submitted to psychological scrutiny without violation its nature. Whatever the psychologist has to say about art will be confined to the process of artistic creation and has noting to do with its innermost essence. He can no more explain this than the intellect can describe or even understand the nature of feeling

C.G. Jung
I agree and disagree with this statement. While it is true that we should not go out and arrest Steve King or Hideo Yamamoto based on the content of their artistic expression any good criminal psychologist will tell you that the truly insane and the truly disturbed killers, rapists, and what have you see their destruction as art. Take Manson for example. The difference is that while writers and artist can freely write, draw, and or paint about killing, raping and pillaging, the fact that they do not act on the idea separates the criminal malfunction from artistic expression.

Chapter 12 "The Spiritual Problem of Modern Man" I found to be the saving grace of part two of the book

It must be clearly understood that the mere fact of living in the present does not make a man modern, for in that case everyone at the present alive would be so. He alone is modern who is fully conscious of the present.

C. G. Jung

I think that if this had been written today it might be categorized in the dreaded "self help" section rather than its rightful place of psychology. This was a reminder to me that some of these men that come on late night television and public broadcasting networks and spout out ideas (however watered down they may be) are really saying things that ancient people like Lou Tzu and modern people like C.G. Jung have said time and time again. Only they have re-worded/written them to sound as if it was their own shiny new thing.

Part three was a true let down. "Synchronicity" I feel should have been more expansive and his "Answer to Job" would have been better left out as I felt it took away from the other works.

To sum it all up if your a dork like me and you like psychological works and think that Freud was a complete idiot you will absolutely love Jung and this book. Stay away from part three and as a homosexual man I found chapter 7 "Marriage as a Psychological Relationship" and his views on homosexuality very interesting and understandable (but not excusable) for a man of his time. Get two copies of this book so after you have highlighted, dogeared, tagged, and folded the first one you still have one that you can read over and over again.

This is the deal. No $@$% cussing for a @$%%$# week. This seems pretty harmless but, is it?

MaKay Hatch teenager from South Pasadena started this no cussing club The NCC (hmm I wonder if the FCC will give this kid a job in the future) in 2007 and it is fast becoming a Juggernaut. I can partially understand the allure of such and institution for the teenage mind. Not being “one of them” and being “one of us” is lets face it what most peoples teenage experience is all about. The need and desire to “fit in” is just as great a pull as the desire to “stick out” and rebel. In highschool (and in college) most had their cliques whether it be jocks, stoners, Goths (showing my age, they are called the “EMO” kids now) and yes even the loners.

Studies have been done that say the “highschool” structure as we know it in America does very little for actual education and more for social development. (honestly there were so many articles that I’m just going to post one of the googel search links http://www.google.com/search?num=100&hl=en&safe=off&rlz=1B2RNFA_enUS309US309&pwst=1&ei=9VysSejWK5KWsQOIj73RBA&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&q=high+school+education+vs+social+development&spell=1)

Here we have a group that is priding itself on conformity, control of self and others rather than freedom of expression (that sound familiar) In the groups oath one of its lines states

“Clean language is the sign of intelligence and always demands respect.” (http://www.nocussing.com/aboutncc/thenocussingchallenge.html)

While this might have been true in some Victorian or Judeo Christian era how true is this today? Some of our “intellectuals” such as Mark Twain and Percy Bysshe Shelley professed their feeling of the so called foul sentiments (http://www.quotesdaddy.com/quote/1040204/mark-twain/under-certain-circumstances-profanity-provides-a-relief) now if we were to agree with this edict of the NCC logic tells us that this young man of 19 years now is wiser and more experienced and expert on the recognition of mental prowess then the two mention above. Having never met the young man I can not argue for nor against this but I would have to say it is highly unlikely. What goes deeper is that fact that a major “American” city has recognized these sentiments worthy for all of its citizens (at least for a week that is) and that is where I have a problem.

This is AMERICA not some socialist or communistic country where the tools of the populous control go as deeply as to try and (intentionally) control the thought of its citizens. The NCC recognizes as anyone that pops open a psychology book or magazine does that to some extent a person using words of their own free will can in a small way show a portion of their personality and even a smaller portion of their mind. Where as a psychologist will tell you that a persons words and speech only reflects their regional environment and choice of expression (not intelligence) (http://www.pbs.org/speak/) the NCC says

Your words become your thoughts.
Your thoughts become your behavior.
Your behavior becomes your character.
Your character becomes your destiny.”


It is very disheartening to think about institutionalized control that in my mind harkens back to the methods used to enslave the minds of slaves stating that the first thing to do is take away the slaves native language. When unable to communicate with his/her native people the slave has no choice but to listen to the slave owner. When this is established the slave will use the words that the slave owner tells him/her to use because he/she has no other words to use. When the control of language is established then the control of though follows because of the fact that now the slave has to think about what he/she says before he/she says it. If then you have control of thought you then gain control of behavior. If the slave has to think about what he/she is saying is or is not proper then he/she will have to think about if his/her behavior is proper and instead of seeking this chastisement from with-in self he/she seeks it from the slave owner there by effectively enslaving the mind

This is America. While I would not want anyone cursing and using foul language around my four year old nephew; the very FIRST amendment to this nation’s constitution gives me and everyone else that right and that choice (http://www.law.cornell.edu/constitution/constitution.billofrights.html). While Mr. Hatch and his NCC, FCC (this kid so has a job in the future) and others around this nation might have a problem with words like





Or any others that are on a short list (http://www.lyricsbox.com/george-carlin-lyrics-the-seven-words-you-can-never-say-on-tv-268qwb7.html) we are given the right (first by god or gods, or the universe whatever you want to call it. I all it “inalienable” then recognized by man) to choose to say them or not. If this campaign continues its mission according to Mr. Hatch will be to take this world wide (http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gZMJ7UTfpn7aWJwv5leLqIt6oIFQD96LEN080) a lofty goal but who are we (America or any one individual for that matter) to tell anyone what they should and should not say? That is a mater so personal and so private to me (and apparently to the founding fathers of this nation) it is just like telling someone to whom they can and can not pray to and what they can or can not pray about or even if they are allowed to pray at all.

This is not a full blown outrage but this does raise a lot of concern for me. We in America like the saying

“out of the mouths of babe’s” and

“A child shall lead the way.” But where is this child leading us? The way that I see it this child is leading us astray from our core values as American citizens with the RIGHT to freely express HOWEVER we may feel at a given time under the guise of pseudo intellectualism and the promises of being apart of the “group” at the sacrifice personal rights and freedoms and even ourselves.

http://www.maniacworld.com/f-81.htm (content warning but very funny)

©Christopher F. Brown 2009

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About this blog

I offer my own unique voice, my own vision. I think the saying goes that writers write because no one else can say what they have to say quite the way they have to say it. That is why I write, that is what I offer.



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