TUNNEL LIGHTS

The thoughts, reflections, rants, raves, on my life; The life of a Christian, black, gay, male.

*I think this one is longer than the first, so, yeah lol God Bless*

 

The last part of getting with and sticking to his (God’s) program  can really be broken down and summed up in one word OBEDIENCE. As a black man living in America that one word still sometimes causes my face to frown and the muscles in the back of my neck tighten. Obedience is something that you expect out of: a pet (mostly more from a dog than a cat), child, prisoner, servant, or slave, not from an intelligent free living, free thinking being. In popular culture it’s been said in so many different ways that a free and truly independent man/woman only has his or her will, passions, and desires as master and is only subject to them. As a Christian man I can not and will not agree.

 

A lot of people I know that are not Christians (and a few that claim to be) believe that in order to be a good Christian you have to: do A and not do B, not say A and always say B, Not even think about A or even care about B. If you do then you are going straight to hell. There are so many scriptures, (i mean really scripture after scripture) that says Jesus died so that we would not be hell bound in doing A, or saying B, or thinking C, but the most famous one that I can think of is 1 Corinthians 10:23

 

“All things are legitimate, permissible and we are free to do anything we please, BUT not all things are helpful (expedient, profitable and and  wholesome) all things are legitimate, but not all things are constructive (to character) and edifying (to spiritual life)”

1Corithians 10:23 amp

I think of it like this; Under the law (the way of the old testament) those that believed in God were surrounded by an electrical fence, and that fence was the law (or the law of God) Trying to go out side of the electrical fence (the law of God) meant death (if not instant). If you have ever been around something that is electrical, and also very powerful; if you get to near to it you can hear the buzz of it and the hair on your arm or wherever might even stand up. This is how powerful the law is and was, just getting near to breaking the law you got that warring. The law/fence was not just a box that believers were stuck in. The law was and is there to protect the believers from what lay on the other side of the fence: Sin, Damnation, Temptation, Hell, and all that is in the world.

 

When Jesus came in he basically grabbed the fence and took in all the power of the fence into himself, died, came back to life and not only made the fence powerless to those that believed in him (he did not destroy the fence because the bible does say that he said,

 

“Do not think that I have come to do away with or undo the law or the Prophets; I have come not to do away with or undo but to complete and fulfill them”

Matthew 5:17 amp

) but became the gate to outside, not so that we could go out and sin but rather that WHEN those that believe got to close to the fence/law or managed to brake the fence/law there would be forgiveness and not just death. He basically said,

 

“So here’s the deal. If you believe in me you can not only get near the fence but you touch it and not get zapped and die. That does not mean party over at Sin’s house. That does however mean Hell is not the only club in town anymore. You no longer have to try and live inside of the fence without accidently touching it and ultimately dying because of that mistake. You can not only touch the fence but you can go outside. You can go out into the world although not be a part of it. What might be temptation for your brother may be noting for you. What might not even be a consideration for your father may be a life long burden for you; the point is you do not have to live in fear of the fence. You only have to have faith in me.”

 

How and what does all that have to do with Obedience and sticking to and with God’s plan?

When you decide to become a Christian, when you make the choice to become a follower of Christ the act of obedience becomes sacrificial, not only that but if becomes the type of sacrifice that God delights in.

 

When God asks A of you and you do A (especially when its something that you don't want to do and in my case something that make no sense at all and i completely DO NOT understand) you place your obedience on a spiritual altar. The sacrifice of your obedience becomes that sweet smelling thing that is pleasing to God because you did not have to obey, but you of your own free will chose to. When you obey God you are spiritually putting to death your pride for him just as Christ Jesus put to death his physical being for you.

 

Why should I OBEY God?

ALOT of people I know have this question in their hearts to it I say,

 

God won’t hurt you.

 

Being Obedient to Men you are subject to whatever whims and desires they may have weather they be good or bad. Obeying god is fantastically and fanatically different. God might ask of you something that you don't understand, or something that makes no logical sense AT ALL no matter how many ways you look at it (trust me I know lol ). God might even place you in a position that is completely outside of your comfort zone, but if you are obedient to God and have faith it will work out in your favor.

 

So what gets in the way of obeying God and ultimately sticking to the program?

Fear and Pride

 

Today I think that pride is one of the major things that gives the fence a little charge every now and then. Like I said in part 1 people not only let things and stuff identify and set their worth but they take pride and boast about it. Who has more to boast about,

 

Person A: Who only wears the newest Gucci, Prada, Betsy Johnson, or whatever and lives on a 40 room mansion on a private island

 

or

 

Person B: Who hung every sun, moon, and planet in the universe after setting the foundation for the universe then put the universe in its place and at one time measured ever drop of water in the sky, ocean, and everywhere in the palm of his hand.

 

Proverbs 16:5 says

 

Everyone proud and arrogant in heart is disgusting, hateful (not hated) and exceedingly offensive to the Lord; be assured [I pledge it] they will not go unpunished”

Proverbs 16:5 amp

There are many more scriptures to this, but God DOES NOT like pride or people being prideful.

 

It gets in God’s Way.

 

In order to truly be obedient to God we have to get rid of our pride. Just as Christ put his flesh to death so must we put our own pride to death.

 

To some, pride is that sin outside of the fence, for others its not even worth mentioning. One practical way to become less prideful is to do something for someone else (that is not a family member or a friend or co-worker that you like) that only benefits them and not you in any way, AND NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT. A selfless act that is only seen and known about by you, the person you helped, and God. It may seem like nothing but it opens a door. (And what a wonderful door)

 

The other thing that gets in the way of people obeying God is Fear. (I really will limit and restrict myself here because Fear I could go on and on about but I wont, Here LOL)

 

I know some women whom have told me that they would never obey any man because of the fear that they will be treated just as badly as they had been by a certain man before. I also know some men that run from relationship to relationship (or person to person) because of the fear that if anyone gets to close, gets to deep inside of his heart and past his walls then they would be in a position to hurt him like those others did before, so they out of fear run, or do not even let the word relationship pass their mouths let alone grow into something all out of fear.

 

GOD WON’T HURT YOU!!!

I really cant say anything practical about this except that you have to have faith and trust that in time you will see God not only loves you but is in love with you, so much so that he gave you a choice of doing the same thing instead of making you do so. God is so much in love with you that he laid down his life for you so that when you laid down yours you could live again. God may correct you but he WILL NOT HURT YOU!

 

Martin Luther said in Freedom of A Christian

 

So when the soul firmly trusts God’s promises, it regards him as truthful and righteous. Nothing more excellent than this can be ascribed to God. The very highest worship of God is this that we ascribe to him truthfulness, righteousness, and whatever else should be ascribed to one who is trusted. When this is done, the soul consents to his will. Then it hallows his name and allows itself to be treated according to God’s good pleasure for clinging to God’s it does not doubt that he who is true, just , and wise will do, dispose, and provide ALL THINGS WELL.” 

Martin Luther, Freedom of A Christian

If you truly trust someone you have faith in them to do and be a certain way. If you go on vacation and you leave someone to housesit you have trust in and have faith that they above all others will not steal from you. You have so much trust and faith in the belief that this person would not steal from you that you charge them with the task of protecting your home from those that you think might steal. What God asks is for you to let him be in charge of and the protector of your life because he already gave his for you.

 

Even with that said some still walk in fear, even when it means stepping outside of God’s plan and doing your own thing. The thing there is God took the power away from the fence and in its place gave all that trust in and have faith in him, freedom and forgiveness. Even when we know the plan that God has for us and we step out of it and walk or act in fear because of the grace of God we have forgiveness.

 

If we look back at Joseph at one point after Herod had died and the Angel of the lord plainly told Joseph to go back home the bible says that Joseph had fear in his heart because Herod’s son was ruling the land so he went to Nazareth instead. (Matthew 2:22-23)

 

When God showed this to me I was really struck at how through the midst of it all God still is god. To really get the point of how afraid Joseph was the Greek word that was used for the type of fear that Joseph had was phobeo which in this context translates out to exceedingly fearful. Phobeo draws it root from another Greek word Phobos which means (to be put in fear); alarm or fright: - be afraid, + exceedingly, fear, terror. That root word Phabos is also the root of a modern English word we over use today Phobia.

 

Maybe this is just me but I would think by now after angels coming down from heaven telling me A, B, and the other I would know that God has my back and I would not care who was ruling what but that is me. The point is that even when you know god, and know god for a fact, and still disobey there is forgiveness. Moreover when we decide to follow our own plan and do what we want to do God’s will is still working. God’s ultimate plan is still working and will not fail. In fact (this is something to really consider) your disobedience was known even before the first sun, moon, or planet was placed in the universe and it still does not mess up God’s plans.

 

God Knows.

 

God Forgives

 

When we step off the path and get outside of his light

 

God Knows.

 

God Forgives.

 

Not only does God know HE KNEW.

 

God Knew what you were going to do even before the situation came around for to do what you did. The thing is God gave you the free will, the choice to do the thing that you did, to make the choice that you made. I hope that whomever reads this and they don't get anything that I'm saying or disagree with everything please get this,

 

GOD MADE MAN

 

MAN MADE ROBOTS

 

With all that said we can reason that God knew Joseph would not take Mary and Jesus home but to Nazareth, and not only did God know this but it was part of the plan.

 

Nothing you say or don't say

Nothing you do or don't do

Nothing that has ever happen, is happening, or ever will happen catches God by surprise.

 

Nothing you say or don't say

Nothing you do or don't do

Nothing that has ever happen, is happening, or ever will happen will mess up God’s plans.

 

We might make choices that causes us to step outside of God’s light or choices that go against God’s will, but God’s plan is still in effect. We can take comfort in the factual knowledge that God’s plan, God’s program is always in effect. Even when we  disobey (or don't understand at all lol), even when we walk in fear; God’s plan is still working, still under way.

 

Get with and stick to God’s Program.

 

I think that… I know that for a fact (because I thought it at one time) sometimes some people think that God sees their life and all their troubles and turmoil and says,

 

“Wow, that rough, It must suck to be you, oh well.”

 

or worse is silent.

 

What’s really happening is that God is saying,

 

“I see the things happening in your life. I know what you are going through and I know it hurts because it hurts me just as much if not more than you, but I ask you. What are you going to do about it? Are you going to continue to get into situations and then seek me when you need to get out of them or will you just seek me.”

 

Get out of gods way, get with his program, and stick with and to the program.

 

God bless.

 

 

©Christopher F. Brown 2009

 

 

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*I think this one is longer than the first, so, yeah lol God Bless*

 

The last part of getting with and sticking to his (God’s) program  can really be broken down and summed up in one word OBEDIENCE. As a black man living in America that one word still sometimes causes my face to frown and the muscles in the back of my neck tighten. Obedience is something that you expect out of: a pet (mostly more from a dog than a cat), child, prisoner, servant, or slave, not from an intelligent free living, free thinking being. In popular culture it’s been said in so many different ways that a free and truly independent man/woman only has his or her will, passions, and desires as master and is only subject to them. As a Christian man I can not and will not agree.

 

A lot of people I know that are not Christians (and a few that claim to be) believe that in order to be a good Christian you have to: do A and not do B, not say A and always say B, Not even think about A or even care about B. If you do then you are going straight to hell. There are so many scriptures, (i mean really scripture after scripture) that says Jesus died so that we would not be hell bound in doing A, or saying B, or thinking C, but the most famous one that I can think of is 1 Corinthians 10:23

 

“All things are legitimate, permissible and we are free to do anything we please, BUT not all things are helpful (expedient, profitable and and  wholesome) all things are legitimate, but not all things are constructive (to character) and edifying (to spiritual life)”

1Corithians 10:23 amp

I think of it like this; Under the law (the way of the old testament) those that believed in God were surrounded by an electrical fence, and that fence was the law (or the law of God) Trying to go out side of the electrical fence (the law of God) meant death (if not instant). If you have ever been around something that is electrical, and also very powerful; if you get to near to it you can hear the buzz of it and the hair on your arm or wherever might even stand up. This is how powerful the law is and was, just getting near to breaking the law you got that warring. The law/fence was not just a box that believers were stuck in. The law was and is there to protect the believers from what lay on the other side of the fence: Sin, Damnation, Temptation, Hell, and all that is in the world.

 

When Jesus came in he basically grabbed the fence and took in all the power of the fence into himself, died, came back to life and not only made the fence powerless to those that believed in him (he did not destroy the fence because the bible does say that he said,

 

“Do not think that I have come to do away with or undo the law or the Prophets; I have come not to do away with or undo but to complete and fulfill them”

Matthew 5:17 amp

) but became the gate to outside, not so that we could go out and sin but rather that WHEN those that believe got to close to the fence/law or managed to brake the fence/law there would be forgiveness and not just death. He basically said,

 

“So here’s the deal. If you believe in me you can not only get near the fence but you touch it and not get zapped and die. That does not mean party over at Sin’s house. That does however mean Hell is not the only club in town anymore. You no longer have to try and live inside of the fence without accidently touching it and ultimately dying because of that mistake. You can not only touch the fence but you can go outside. You can go out into the world although not be a part of it. What might be temptation for your brother may be noting for you. What might not even be a consideration for your father may be a life long burden for you; the point is you do not have to live in fear of the fence. You only have to have faith in me.”

 

How and what does all that have to do with Obedience and sticking to and with God’s plan?

When you decide to become a Christian, when you make the choice to become a follower of Christ the act of obedience becomes sacrificial, not only that but if becomes the type of sacrifice that God delights in.

 

When God asks A of you and you do A (especially when its something that you don't want to do and in my case something that make no sense at all and i completely DO NOT understand) you place your obedience on a spiritual altar. The sacrifice of your obedience becomes that sweet smelling thing that is pleasing to God because you did not have to obey, but you of your own free will chose to. When you obey God you are spiritually putting to death your pride for him just as Christ Jesus put to death his physical being for you.

 

Why should I OBEY God?

ALOT of people I know have this question in their hearts to it I say,

 

God won’t hurt you.

 

Being Obedient to Men you are subject to whatever whims and desires they may have weather they be good or bad. Obeying god is fantastically and fanatically different. God might ask of you something that you don't understand, or something that makes no logical sense AT ALL no matter how many ways you look at it (trust me I know lol ). God might even place you in a position that is completely outside of your comfort zone, but if you are obedient to God and have faith it will work out in your favor.

 

So what gets in the way of obeying God and ultimately sticking to the program?

Fear and Pride

 

Today I think that pride is one of the major things that gives the fence a little charge every now and then. Like I said in part 1 people not only let things and stuff identify and set their worth but they take pride and boast about it. Who has more to boast about,

 

Person A: Who only wears the newest Gucci, Prada, Betsy Johnson, or whatever and lives on a 40 room mansion on a private island

 

or

 

Person B: Who hung every sun, moon, and planet in the universe after setting the foundation for the universe then put the universe in its place and at one time measured ever drop of water in the sky, ocean, and everywhere in the palm of his hand.

 

Proverbs 16:5 says

 

Everyone proud and arrogant in heart is disgusting, hateful (not hated) and exceedingly offensive to the Lord; be assured [I pledge it] they will not go unpunished”

Proverbs 16:5 amp

There are many more scriptures to this, but God DOES NOT like pride or people being prideful.

 

It gets in God’s Way.

 

In order to truly be obedient to God we have to get rid of our pride. Just as Christ put his flesh to death so must we put our own pride to death.

 

To some, pride is that sin outside of the fence, for others its not even worth mentioning. One practical way to become less prideful is to do something for someone else (that is not a family member or a friend or co-worker that you like) that only benefits them and not you in any way, AND NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT. A selfless act that is only seen and known about by you, the person you helped, and God. It may seem like nothing but it opens a door. (And what a wonderful door)

 

The other thing that gets in the way of people obeying God is Fear. (I really will limit and restrict myself here because Fear I could go on and on about but I wont, Here LOL)

 

I know some women whom have told me that they would never obey any man because of the fear that they will be treated just as badly as they had been by a certain man before. I also know some men that run from relationship to relationship (or person to person) because of the fear that if anyone gets to close, gets to deep inside of his heart and past his walls then they would be in a position to hurt him like those others did before, so they out of fear run, or do not even let the word relationship pass their mouths let alone grow into something all out of fear.

 

GOD WON’T HURT YOU!!!

I really cant say anything practical about this except that you have to have faith and trust that in time you will see God not only loves you but is in love with you, so much so that he gave you a choice of doing the same thing instead of making you do so. God is so much in love with you that he laid down his life for you so that when you laid down yours you could live again. God may correct you but he WILL NOT HURT YOU!

 

Martin Luther said in Freedom of A Christian

 

So when the soul firmly trusts God’s promises, it regards him as truthful and righteous. Nothing more excellent than this can be ascribed to God. The very highest worship of God is this that we ascribe to him truthfulness, righteousness, and whatever else should be ascribed to one who is trusted. When this is done, the soul consents to his will. Then it hallows his name and allows itself to be treated according to God’s good pleasure for clinging to God’s it does not doubt that he who is true, just , and wise will do, dispose, and provide ALL THINGS WELL.” 

Martin Luther, Freedom of A Christian

If you truly trust someone you have faith in them to do and be a certain way. If you go on vacation and you leave someone to housesit you have trust in and have faith that they above all others will not steal from you. You have so much trust and faith in the belief that this person would not steal from you that you charge them with the task of protecting your home from those that you think might steal. What God asks is for you to let him be in charge of and the protector of your life because he already gave his for you.

 

Even with that said some still walk in fear, even when it means stepping outside of God’s plan and doing your own thing. The thing there is God took the power away from the fence and in its place gave all that trust in and have faith in him, freedom and forgiveness. Even when we know the plan that God has for us and we step out of it and walk or act in fear because of the grace of God we have forgiveness.

 

If we look back at Joseph at one point after Herod had died and the Angel of the lord plainly told Joseph to go back home the bible says that Joseph had fear in his heart because Herod’s son was ruling the land so he went to Nazareth instead. (Matthew 2:22-23)

 

When God showed this to me I was really struck at how through the midst of it all God still is god. To really get the point of how afraid Joseph was the Greek word that was used for the type of fear that Joseph had was phobeo which in this context translates out to exceedingly fearful. Phobeo draws it root from another Greek word Phobos which means (to be put in fear); alarm or fright: - be afraid, + exceedingly, fear, terror. That root word Phabos is also the root of a modern English word we over use today Phobia.

 

Maybe this is just me but I would think by now after angels coming down from heaven telling me A, B, and the other I would know that God has my back and I would not care who was ruling what but that is me. The point is that even when you know god, and know god for a fact, and still disobey there is forgiveness. Moreover when we decide to follow our own plan and do what we want to do God’s will is still working. God’s ultimate plan is still working and will not fail. In fact (this is something to really consider) your disobedience was known even before the first sun, moon, or planet was placed in the universe and it still does not mess up God’s plans.

 

God Knows.

 

God Forgives

 

When we step off the path and get outside of his light

 

God Knows.

 

God Forgives.

 

Not only does God know HE KNEW.

 

God Knew what you were going to do even before the situation came around for to do what you did. The thing is God gave you the free will, the choice to do the thing that you did, to make the choice that you made. I hope that whomever reads this and they don't get anything that I'm saying or disagree with everything please get this,

 

GOD MADE MAN

 

MAN MADE ROBOTS

 

With all that said we can reason that God knew Joseph would not take Mary and Jesus home but to Nazareth, and not only did God know this but it was part of the plan.

 

Nothing you say or don't say

Nothing you do or don't do

Nothing that has ever happen, is happening, or ever will happen catches God by surprise.

 

Nothing you say or don't say

Nothing you do or don't do

Nothing that has ever happen, is happening, or ever will happen will mess up God’s plans.

 

We might make choices that causes us to step outside of God’s light or choices that go against God’s will, but God’s plan is still in effect. We can take comfort in the factual knowledge that God’s plan, God’s program is always in effect. Even when we  disobey (or don't understand at all lol), even when we walk in fear; God’s plan is still working, still under way.

 

Get with and stick to God’s Program.

 

I think that… I know that for a fact (because I thought it at one time) sometimes some people think that God sees their life and all their troubles and turmoil and says,

 

“Wow, that rough, It must suck to be you, oh well.”

 

or worse is silent.

 

What’s really happening is that God is saying,

 

“I see the things happening in your life. I know what you are going through and I know it hurts because it hurts me just as much if not more than you, but I ask you. What are you going to do about it? Are you going to continue to get into situations and then seek me when you need to get out of them or will you just seek me.”

 

Get out of gods way, get with his program, and stick with and to the program.

 

God bless.

 

 

©Christopher F. Brown 2009

 

 

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* This something that God has been showing me and by no means is this meant to make me any more than anyone else and yes to some of you this may make me a hypocrite, but i know they called Jesus worse. I feel… I know i have to share this so I will. I hope and pray that this reaches whomever god is intending this to reach. If you read this and it helps you then praise God. If you read this and are offended or think “how could he write this"?” You did not have to read this, it was your choice. Also this came out really long so I'm breaking it up into parts. God bless.*

 

 

 

Getting in God’s way: Wanting more and not excepting what God has already given and or done. Wanting to be and or do something other than what you know God has call you for or given you the gifts that he created for you and intended for you to use and or be

 

When I say this I do not mean become complacent and just except whatever comes and whatever falls in your life and in your way. That is not God’s way at all. An example of what I mean is turning away a bowl of rice because its not a steak all the while you have been praying and praying to god to rid you of your hunger. Another example of what I mean is having a gift to sing, but never doing so because you want to dance, or having a gift to write but never doing so because you want to paint, or draw, or whatever.

 

All that, all of those things are hindrances not for god, but for you. God created you with a purpose and a plan, but it is up to you to seek it out, get with it, and stick to it.

 

How can you get out of God’s way and Get with his program?: Sit down, shut up and listen.

That might seem a little harsh but it is the truth. The example of sitting down is stop trying to make something happen and doing all that you can to make that things happen instead of turning it over to God and letting him work it out. The Shut up and listen part is simply listen to what God is trying to tell you, listen when God is trying to speak to you. I know some Christians like to pray and that is a very good thing, but some don't like to listen. You can pray and pray and pray and pray and pray and that might in some cases be a good thing. In other cases I think God says,

 

“I heard you the first 500 times just wait a minuet.” or “ I heard you the first 500 times if you be quiet and listen you’ll hear the answer your asking of me or get the thing you are asking of me”

 

I know some people get so upset when you interrupt their prayer that they really just get mad at you and try to make you feel bad about it not realizing that God could be sending you to answer the very thing they are asking for or about.

 

Genesis 24:1-16 tells how a servant of Abraham was given the task of finding a wife for one of his sons. The servant also had a set of particulars to make sure that the one that he picked would make the cut. What amazes me about this servant was that he did not even believe in Abrahams God. He had his own God (God’s really) but because he wanted to please Abraham so much he prayed to Abrahams god to send him the woman that would make the cut and fit all the particulars. I could go on about how much faith that must have taken but that is another tangent. The point here is that the bible says before he could even finish praying Rebecca came around the corner and fulfilled not only his requirements but many many more. The servant got out of god’s way, got with god’s program. This servant listen and received when god spoke and gave.

 

When trouble comes or things start to go wrong (and the will go wrong) we often say to ourselves,

 

“Ok if I put in some overtime, or take that other job.”

 

When the car breaks down sometimes our first thought is,

 

“I hope cousin Johnny is not busy and can fit me in otherwise I’ll have to take it to the shop and if I have to do that I wont have the money to pay the light bill …”

 

Half the time we go through those things because we don't do what we promised God we would do, PRAY. All of that belongs to God. God wants you to seek him first everyday and in everyway and in everything. The car could have broken down because god is making a way for a new one. That unexpected bill that you don't have the money to pay could be a trust exercise. Are you going to do what you told god you would do and trust him, or are you going to (try to) make away yourself.

 

The bible says in Luke 5:1-7 Simon had been out fishing all day and had not even caught one fish and had packed it up. He was washing his nets and was done for the day, but Jesus had came along. (When I read this scripture I think of the Johnny Cash song “When the man comes around”) Jesus got in Simon’s boat and told him to cast out his net. Your average person (today) would have said,

 

“Man, you trippin. We’ve been out here ALL DAY and have not caught even one, one, fish. I'm not doing that. I'm going home, get out of my boat.”

 

Yet, that is not what Simon did. Simon said,

 

“We have not caught anything all day, not even one small fish, but because you ask me to do it I will.”

 

The bible then goes on to say that they caught so many fish that their nets started to break from the weight and the amount of them all and that they had to call some friends to help them because they had caught so much fish that their boats began to sink under the weight. Simon shut his moth and listened to god, He had faith in that moment and let god’s will (not his own) be done and in that moment he witness the rewards of getting out of god’s way, getting with god’s program, and sticking with it. Now in Luke 5:8 he moves to another moment that is another tangent for something else. Seek him first is what we are supposed to do, worry or try to work it out ourselves is not what we are supposed to do.

 

Get out of God’s way.

 

Another MAJOR example of Getting out of god’s way, getting with god’s program, and sticking with it is Joseph. Joseph I think gets so discounted by the whole of Christendom, but he really is such example to us all.

 

In the first two chapters of the book of Mathew Joseph is given a choice when he sees that Mary; this woman that is promised to him as his wife and is supposed to be a virgin is pregnant. He could do what society tells him is the lawful thing to do and publicly shame her and in that time he could have even had her put to death. He could do what society said was the right thing, the just thing, and the “good” thing and just quietly get the today’s equivalent of an annulment. The last choice was he could do the “Godly” thing and get out of God’s way and get with God’s program. The bible says that Joseph had already decided that he had made up his mind to do the “good” thing and secretly and quietly get an annulment and not put Mary to shame (this is a tangent but I love how god takes “good” people, not great people but “good” people and calls them to do and be of “godly” things). Then an angel of the lord spoke to him in a dream and said,

 

“So check this out, here’s the deal Mary is carrying God’s son in her womb. Name him Jesus because God is fulfilling his word here.”

 

The bible says that after that dream Joseph woke up and took Marry as his wife. He could have done so much worse but he did the Godly thing. He simply got out of God’s way.

 

The Godly thing was not to bring down city walls, or to part seas, or walk or water, or have strength or intelligence equal to no other man. The Godly thing that God called Joseph to do was to take Mary as his wife even though the child in her womb was not his own. Sometimes the godly thing can be that simple. Sometimes the Godly thing that god has told, and is telling us to do is to simply to get out of his way, get with the program he has created since the beginning of time, and stick with it, but we sometimes have to shut up, sit down and listen to get it.

 

God already has a plan and if we have a true love and understanding of God we know that even though we don't know and never will know god’s plan, even if we don't get what god’s plan is for us and our life is; the plan that God has for our life is part of his plan for everything and God’s plans never fail. If we turn over our life to him and let his will be ours, let his plans be ours even in the mists of what the world would consider failure not only are we succeeding but we are conquering.

 

Its and insult to god if you really think about it. Here it is he creates this perfect perfection for your life just because he loves you (and loves you so much he gives you the option that you don't even have to if you don't want to because you have free will) and you go and do what the law says; what society says; or even what world considers good when he is calling you to so much more, so much greater. He is calling you to Godliness but first you have to get out of his way.

 

Sticking with and to the program: Follow through and trust god, pray and wait, pray and listen, stick to what he has told you until he tells you something different. If you want it god will give but be mindful and before asking think “is this what I need?” Don't grow comfortable with the tings that the world places in your life. Don't allow the things that the world and even god brings into your life define you and determine your worth. Basically do not make someone or thing an “idol” that has a place in your heart and life next to god. (I know right that was a lot but sometimes it takes a lot.)

The bible is full of people who stick with and to the program even when it seems like it wasn't working out. If we go back to Joseph in Mathew chapter two we see that the devil began to work and that Joseph’s troubles start, but instead of saying,

 

“oh see, here comes trouble I'm out.”

 

He stuck to and with the program.

 

The Bible says in Mathew chapter two that when Herod (the king of Israel at that time) heard about these three “wise men” looking for for the king of the Jews saying that they saw his star in the sky and we have come to worship him. He got upset and scared. He had fear. (I love how the bible calls them wise men because I think if the bible had been written today they would have been called three “strangers” because here are these men from far off lands that no one knows about and had never heard of before come in and are seeking Jesus to worship him even before the world knew he was there.)

 

If you look into Herod’s character and history this was an out right threat. First Herod had backed Antony and Cleopatra but we know how that turned out and the only way he was not one of the few that did not get their heads cut off was to be a turn coat and swear loyalty to Octavian. Herod built many temples to Roman god’s and was a true lover of all thing Greek all the while technically being a Jew (because his father converted to Judaism and his mother was liked by the Jewish people.) and because of that the Jews at the time tolerated Herod as their king, were comfortable with Herod as their King and the fact that their King was under the authority of Rome and not God, but that soon changed.

 

Herod played along with these three wise men and told them when they found this Child to let him know so he could come worship too but Herod’s plan (getting in god’s way) was to kill this child. The priests and the scribes of the land at that time told Herod that these men were not crazy and this was a prophecy being fulfilled. God did not let that happen though. He sent an angel to the wise men and told them to not only not tell Herod when they found Jesus but to go a different way than what they came. This pissed Herod off even more because now he did not know who this Christ was. In an effort to “CYA” he said,

 

“Alright, Ill just kill every male child of this age and that should cover it.”

 

I think about that and it blows my mind. In an effort to keep is place, to maintain his title Herod became a mass murder OF BABBIES. Herod let the devil use him and he destroyed an entire generation just to keep his place, his status.

 

What would you do to keep your job, car, home, title, office, salary, parking spot, name on the door, (fill in blank)? People get so caught up in things and stuff that they not only let the things and stuff define them but the actually see their worth in the things and stuff.

 

Get out of god’s way, get with his program, and stick with and to the program.

 

The Angel came back to Joseph and told him to get up and take you and your wife and child into Egypt until I saw otherwise. Here again If we think about Joseph situation. He could have said,

 

“Hell its not my son anyway why should I care.”

 

and in those times the only place that was just as worse as Rome in its decadence and corruption was Egypt. I could just see Joseph’s face going,

 

“huh, Egypt? you playin right?”

 

The only thing I could think of that would be the equivalent in today’s world would the father of and Amish family living on a farm in Minnesota somewhere next to nowhere saying to his family one day,

 

“Um everyone as we all know things are getting tough so God has spoken to me and we are moving to Las Vegas until god tells me otherwise.”

 

Joseph stuck with and to the program even when it did not seem to make any logical, feasible, sense at all. Joseph went into Egypt.

 

 

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jesus24 For those of you whom have known me (casually) for the past  few years you might think that I might be going through some sort of phase. For the people whom have known me a bit more  for the same amount of time might have seen this as a natural progression. The rest of you that know me (and have probably have know me for over a decade or so now) know that this is nothing new. Sadly I have to say its more like an ebb and flow which I'm working on changing; really its more of me returning, rather, to a place where I was before and trying to go from there.

 

For the past five years (I think it has been) I’ve been calling myself a Follower of Christ and not a Christian. I know it is just word play but for the past few years I wanted to separate myself from the hypocrisy that many Christians adopt in their walk with Jesus. One of the big ones for me was the super, ultra, mega churches. I know that if God decides to bless a church with thousands of members than so be it, but I've been to a few of these and what I felt at these places was not the spirit of the Lord. What I felt was Club Jesus.

 

Club Jesus was open every Sunday from 8am-1pm and the dress code was STRICLY enforced. Another thing that I wanted to separate myself from was the self-righteousness that a lot of so called Christians adopt. The attitude that because you are SAVED AND SANCTIFIED then you (and PASSA) have the right to pass judgment on ANYTHING, EVERYTHING, and ANYONE; when the fact is that last I checked Jesus was the one who died on the cross. Jesus is the one that we have to stand before ALONE and give account for our lives, NOT Passa so and so, NOT Bishop or Deacon so and so, and most definitely NOT Sista so and so. This and the fact that most of the churches I had been to up until a certain point were certainly holy ghost filled, but as far as the pastor instructing and teaching from the word I felt like i was missing out on something. While the pastor hyperventilated and spoke in tongues for an hour or so I would sit in the back and have my bible reading time. My Grandmother said it best once when I was a child,

 

“Boy that passa sho did do some preachin. I don't know what he was saying but he sho did do some preachin.”

 

I set out to feast upon the meal that is the wisdom and knowledge of the lord and  his goodness and I felt as if I was getting candy and ice cream. Its ok for a while but to grow right you need nutrition.

 

That led me to non-denomination churches; here I learned the difference between the HOLY GHOST and the HOLY SPIRIT. Man I did miss good ole praise and worship service, but in these churches I was feed the knowledge, and wisdom of the lord and instructed in his word. My hunger for knowledge was filled but it was like eating chicken, vegetables, and rice all the time, you seek something sweet once in a while. I also always felt like an outsider, like it was God, them, and I. I also found in the non-denominations I had been to most ever message was one of prosperity, but taught in the way of “Jesus, the ultimate Jinni.” One thing I did find in common between Non-denominations and most Black Churches was that they both were not afraid to pass the collection plate around a good 2 or 3 times for the “building fund” or whatever fund. I had got to a point where I felt like Anthony of Hippo and just wanted to go into a mountain cave or lock myself in a tomb with my bible and just pray and be with god. No place where fake, phony, name only Christians could get to me. A place where every Sunday there were 2 or three collections for the building fund but no new building, a place where people smiled in your face but when you passed them on the way out of church you heard,

 

“Shh, shh here he come.”

 

but like with Anthony of Hippo God was not having that with me. 

 

Some time ago my good friend Racquell started her walk with God ( coincidently she started her walk at the very same church i was born again at when I was 16) Since then she has truly let go and let god. She then started going to another church and had been asking me to come there off and on for the past six years I think. I of course said no because I knew that with the exception of her those people would probably be all phony, name only Christians; ready to condemn something to hell ignoring their own sins and faults when God himself commanded everyone and especially those whom follow him to hold out a helping and forgive. In that six year time though I had my adventures of finding a Church home that not only was gay friendly but i felt complete at. A place where I felt god’s presence and learned his word.

 

One place was a gay friendly church and had a gay pastor whom was very knowledgeable and very anointed, but it was so boring there and it took me more time to get there than the entirety of the service. I was the newest addition to a parish of 6 or 7 people. They eventually shut their doors because finances would not allow them to stay open. I had the greatest adventure when I had made a “friend” (yeah we will say friend) whom told me about his church and how gay friendly it was and how it was full of the spirit and when i finally went there the message was on “The EVILS of the effeminate spirit and how it shall not enter into the gates of heaven.” and how “…all  that are afflicted with effeminate spirits can be released from it if they pray hard enough , fast long enough and chastise(not literally) themselves when they feel those abominable feelings coming over them.” that was a fun 2.5 hours. Add in some other places being too far away, or me just stepping over the threshold and god telling me to go back out and you’ll see how I had become discouraged and decided to just give up on finding a church home and just decided to  study and pray, and whenever God decided it was time then it would be time.

 

I became a person that learned everything that I could about the bible on my own and walked in faith with God alone. I knew (and know) that God would not create me upon this earth and make me in a manner that sentences me to eternal damnation because of something I have no control over and can not pray away. Hell, that was the reason I got born again at 16. I took the word (well really i took the word of some phony, fake people calling themselves Christians) at its word, all my sin would be washed away so imagine my disappointment when I came out the water and was like,

 

“Damn, still gay.”

 

Just as much as I can not change being Black, or Male, I CAN NOT change being Gay. Sure I could never have sex with another man again but I would still lust after one in my heart and mind so its the same thing. I could go have an operation so COSMETICALLY I would be a woman, but again the parts don't really work like a real woman's (and to each their own I'm not hating just saying It was not for me) and I love being a man and thank god for making me a man and just as I have no desire to have sex with a woman I have no desire to be one either. I could go bleach my skin but I love being black way too much and thank god for it everyday. So by FAITH I KNOW that Leviticus 18:22, and Romans whatever (I forget right now) must have been warped  and taken out of context over the centuries and something is just not right. It just does not seem godly. I know for a fact that in those times the ancient Greeks, Romans, and Egyptians offered up orgies parties to their gods as a form of sacrificial offering. I also know that in those times and in those cultures a man married to a woman could have sex with a male prostitute and those societies saw nothing wrong with it (sorta like how some men think that long as they don’t bottom they are not gay). I'm thinking at originally it was the sex outside of marriage, and the sex with multiple people, and pretty sure offering sex as a form of scarifies was the sin, NOT just plain ole  man on man, woman on woman. Either way I’ll find out Judgment day, until then I will keep on loving and praising the lord.

 

Fast forward a decade, MANY adventures in the Castro, a few failed flings, living in the city, one hell of a three year relationship where we would have been married if we could have been legally, and me getting back to where I was spiritually before I met that person and you have the point where my friend Racquell pops back in my life. She was now married and living around the corner from me and still inviting me to her church. I decide to have dinner with her and her husband. I began to talk about how I choose (chose now) study bibles based on the notes it gave on John 21:15-17. If the bible in question explained the difference between Phileo and Agapao it was a good study bible in my eyes. She then said,

 

“Pastor B taught a sermon about that one Sunday.”

 

and her husband shook his head in agreement.

 

With the exception of Melissa Scott I had NEVER heard of ANY pastor teaching that scripture in any other way than it being that Jesus asked three times and Peter denied three times. I was readily hooked. The line and sinker was when they had a different approach to bible study. It was not just service on a Thursday night. It was a bible Q and A session where you could ask any questions you wanted and the pastor and others  would answer to the best of his knowledge. Ever since then I’ve been going to this church. I haven't  once felt like the sermon was not speaking DIRECTLY to me, and even right down to technicalities my soul agrees with this place.

 

Coming from a black church background when a baby is born you wait eight days or so and then have the baby christened or baptized but I’ve always felt that was wrong. Being baptized I feel is something that should be a conscience decision made by the person undergoing it but that was just me. I haven't ever been to a church that thought that, until a few Sundays ago. They did a dedication of a new born were it was not a baptismal because of the reasons that I just said. I was fully impressed.  So I think I might have found a church home. A place where I can fellowship with other followers of Christ and dare I say Christians. Sadly I do not like the music there but I've given up on finding a church that mixed holy ghost praise and worship with holy spirit instruction. I’ll just listen to some Marvin Sap, MMC, old school Kirk Franklin, and others in my headphones on the way there while I conveniently just a little late, every Sunday.

 

I tell you though it is worth it because I not only feel the lords presence there but i also see that Pastor B is a very anointed, and educated man and his sermons ALWAYS align with the bible, and there have been times where some of the same things that I came up with in my study time is what he preached on your said the very same thing. Also, this blew me away, not one time has he asked for a offering to “the building fund” nor does he teach prosperity messages as if God were the ultimate jinni, and all you have to do is pray and be good and god will give you a 50 room house on a hill and a car for every room.

 

So I think I’ve truly found a church home. This does not mean that i wont be a part of my non Christians friends lives because that is a bunch of hypocritical mess, hell Jesus hung out at the bars, brothels, and preached to anyone whom would listen. People now forget that in those times Jesus was the equivalent to a long-haired hippie rebel (yes i said Jesus was a hippie :-) ) breaking traditions, teaching non-conformity, and upsetting the establishment; hell if they had liked him so much they would not have nailed him to a cross.

 

So don't think that I'm claiming perfection like the phony hypocrites that I can not stand because if i (or they for that matter) were perfect then we would not have needed Jesus to die on the cross, anybody whom has some sense about the matter would tell you its NOT about being perfect but about recognizing your imperfections and doing what you can to change the things that can be changed and knowing that there is forgiveness when you stumble. Don't think that you cant talk about A,B, or C with me or around me like you did before because I'm still me. Don't think that I'm going to beat you over the head with the bible telling you that you are going to burn in hell unless you get saved right now and quoting scriptures at you every two seconds, and not making any of the jokes that I made before. I did not do that before so don't expect that of me now, but like before if you do have a question and you think I can answer it then ask me. What I'm saying is I have NOT become what you all know that I can not stand (fake, phony, hypocritical, club Jesus member). What am doing is just making a public declaration of something that has been inside of me for a LONG LONG time now. I am a follower of Christ, and dare I say it. A Christian.

 

20080810180201_americandream The other day I was watching “The Pursuit of Happiness” and on the special features it explained that the producers including Will Smith chose an Italian man (Gabriele Muccino) to direct the movie. One of the things he said completely incarcerated my thoughts and forced me to write this.

 

As Americans you guys don’t really understand and appreciate ‘The American Dream’. To fully appreciate and understand ‘The American Dream’ you have to be a foreigner.

 

I wonder how true that statement is? I’ve had plenty of friends whose parents (and some themselves) have come to this country; made good and tell the story,

 

“I came here with nothing and now look at me.”

 

As children we are taught to go to school and get good grades you so can get into a good college. Once you have gotten into the good college you get a good education so you can get a good job. Once you have the good job you’re to buy the nice big home with the white picket fence, the nice car that you trade in for a nice sports car latter in life, and start the nice family so the cycle can repeat. That particular dream is ok for some, hey this is American and if that is what a person wants from life then they have the right to pursue. It took a very long time to figure out that particular dream was not for me. Some people’s American dream is to be the richest they can; richer than anyone ever and being born and raised in a democratic society with a capitalistic economic structure you already have an ingrained propensity for the wealth acquirement itch. I’m not saying wanting to be the richest man/woman there ever was makes you greedy capitalistic scum and a leach upon the world and its resources (although I know some reading this would say that). I’m not say that NOT wanting to be rich but seeking a life different from wealth acquisition maybe even seeking spiritual or personal education and elightenment makes you a hippy or a terrorist (although I so some reading this would say that).

 

What I am saying or asking rather is as Americans do we (myself included) understand and appreciate “The American Dream?” I think as Americans we fully understand “The American Dream” but I think we as Americans do not fully appreciate the access we have to that/those dream(s) verses what most people have in other countries. Keeping with the movie theme take into consideration movies like “Slumdog Millionaire” or “Jerusalema” both movies about men whom came from the unthinkable and achieved the unbelievable. One man in India one man in South Africa but both made good on what we in have claimed in America as our own. The idea of surpassing any and all odds to achieve our hearts desire whatever that might be. That is what we have claimed as “The American Dream.” I have some friends whose ideal would be to see America and all its hypocrisy come full circle. I know that they would like nothing more for all of its greedy corporations and double talking politicians expunged from the face of the Earth. I also have some friends whose ideal would be to make over the world and fill it with capitalism and democracy in every corners and all its crevices. I’d just like to write and have a few of my books and poetry published and make enough money to be what they call “comfortable.”

I’m thinking and I could be wrong is maybe Gabriele Muccino might have meant is that we as Americans do not appreciate and understand. The ease of access and the options of opportunities we have for success in and as Americans.

 

As a gay black man in America I could play my little violin (and I did for a while) and say how “the man” keeps me down and how “the government” wont even grant me first class citizenship in this country. Explicitly defining what my pursuit of happiness should be and there by limiting it. I think as you get older you start to realize that there will always be something. There will always be something that will be an obstacle in the way. I hate to use these words seeing how they have been overused in the past few years but it is sort of elitist (to me) to think that things should be handed to you just because you want them weather it be ten million dollars, a mansion, and a yacht. It seems (to me) a bit on the entitlement side to think that everyone should want to go out and protest the things (or anything for that matter) that you feel are unjust and unfair, to think that everyone should rally behind the banner of a cause that you (or anyone for that matter) have deemed personally righteous. In Africa certain people are denied jobs for the simple fact that they are from a particular tribe. In America I know that I have been turned down for jobs (and in one case actually given) simply because I am black, but the difference I think he meant is that we have recourse in America. We can take action and depending on how much and how hard we are willing to fight( not how much we willing to complain about how wrong it was) the outcome can be changed. In those places in Africa that’s simply just it, you can not have the job (or most other things that you want )and there is nothing you can do about it.

 

I think he might have meant that we do not appreciate the fact that as Americans we can do something against something that is negative in our eyes. We do not have to settle for any glass ceiling that is said to be given to use. I know some (reading this right now) scoff and say that you can only go so far and THEY will let you and you’ll NEVER get passed that. I say for THEM that is true. They will only go so far and will only ever achieve so much because they have accepted what someone else has transcribed as their limitations. I think what he meant is that even though America can seem to be all about money, greed, and corruptions is also about opportunity, and choice. You can choose to listen to what THEY tell you and only go as far as THEY will let you or you can take hold of the opportunities available to ALL BY LAW (something very few other countries offer) and at least try to achieve whatever it is that is your own personal American Dream.

 

©Christopher F. Brown 2009

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* WARRNING: THIS BLOG POST CONTAINS THE NAME JESUS AND TALKS ABOUT OTHER THINGS THAT COULD BE DEAMED “CHRISTIAN” LOL *

 

 

Its funny how when God is trying to speak to you and you’re not opening your ears to listen to him he will continue to speak. The other day my I was at my aunts house and I overheard my cousin on the phone speaking to someone about Jesus and church. Without getting into too much detail this cousin is one of the few people that I thought I would never hear mention the name Jesus let alone minister like they were that night. I was a proud of them. On the way home there were two homeless people pushing their carts down the street. It was late at night and there was no other people on the streets, no cars on the road so I could hear their conversation clearly.

 

“You know I’m so blessed, my brother lost his job and just found out he has cancer, all of are parents and children are gone and he does not know what he’s going to do.”

 

Just to hear him say that re-awoke something in me (or turned up the volume rather) that I had been ignoring.

 

I have been mulling over whether or not to let go of someone that I had once called friend. I had been feeling in my heart that I finally had gotten to my last straw with them. I thought over how many times I had been a shoulder for them to cry on, an ear for them to speak to, even offer them a couch when they did not want there own. I then compared that to how many times when I call them and they don't even answer the phone. I contrasted that to when I had no one to turn to and turned to them they showed me their back.

 

“Who need a friend like that.”

 

is what I thought. They were (as Madea said) a branch, when I put a little pressure on them they broke.

 

I had already cut one person I called  “Friend” loose because I figured them to be a user. They got what they wanted out of me and from me then like a magic smoke they seemed to forget my name existed. They I deemed a user. This friend I told about themselves and told him how they were not being the type of friend I was to them and how hurt i was because I thought they felt as I did. I thought they understood and was of the like that  a friend is a family member that you get to choose yourself. This is the reason why I can count the people I call friend barely on both hands. This is the reason why most of the people that I give that name to have been that for more that 10 years.

 

This week I listen to God and God told me no. God told me not to cut this person loose because they are my friend. I would never disown a family member so how could I disown a friend.  Of course I wrestled with this one. This one friend that I had cut loose and this one that I was going to cut loose were toxic people, they were users; why would god tell me to keep these people in my life when they were brining me down? God gave me the answer.

 

Like any family member you do whatever you can for that person simply because they are that person, no more no less, so how could you do less for a family member that you yourself chose. “Old friends” are the achievement of being a good person, the achievement of being a person who's spirit is truly blessed and a heart that is truly kind so getting rid of them when they might need you the most is not the way to get them to be “Old friends”. And  No matter how many friends you have NONE of them are god and none of them are you.

 

I already knew that part of friendship  is staying in contact and seeing how that person is doing and wanting to know what is going on in that person's life and just showing general concern, but I was expecting these people to WANT to do those things in return and that was my error. You cant make a person WANT to do something if it is not in there heart to want it. The only thing that you can do is what is in YOUR heart to do. I forgot that the only people I that I should ever expect anything out of is myself and God. I forgot that the key to having old friends is treating them like family and that is showing them unconditional love. If you let him God will weed out the people in your life that do not need to be there.

 

The day may come when these people will call on me to do something for them: maybe listen to their story, let them cry on my shoulder, sleep on my couch, or just sit next to them in their empty house. Its up to me to be available to them because god has directed them to my doorstep for a purpose and it is up to me to let God work out whatever God needs to work out.  

 

I apologized to the one friend I cut loose and if god ever does send the other friend my way again I will ask them for their forgiveness.

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In the United States of America the celebration of the fourth of July is a time to celebrate the freedom that as Americans possess.  The irony to me is that in most states setting off fireworks without a permit or even possessing most of them (as if they were drugs) is considered illegal.  The very thing that is one of the iconic symbols that represents  this nations freedom is also contraband.

 

People attend corporate sponsored events sanctioned by the local governments where one can purchase this and bye that. All the while little children look up in awe at the pretty colors and loud sounds and lovers share hotdogs, sodas, and candy.

 

When I was a young child everyone in the neighborhood would gather in the alley or at the park on the basketball court and set off bottle rockets, screamers, and what have you. This was what the fourth of July was to me as a child. It was a time when the whole neighborhood gathered and the community came together and had a fun and eventful time. We did not need any local officials telling us what we could and could not do. What was and was not suitable.

 

The counter argument is of course the perpetual story of some young child blowing off a finger or two playing with M-80’s, or how one fourth of July little somebody got into the “stash” and burned mama’s grandma’s uncle’s or simply “The House” down.  I wont do the whole thing and blame it on parenting because even as a child I set off a firecracker in my hand and for those few seconds while my hand hurt and my ears rang (convinced I had gone deaf) I just knew I would be in trouble. I learned my lesson, but I believe that education not total prohibition of most things is a better answer in most cases. When the people want something they tend to find ways to get it. When it is something that could be monitored and regulated and actually bring people together without strife, malice, or discord I just wonder why?

 

It seems to me a bit Orwellish or something from a Kafka short.

 

“The celebration of the day that the nation claimed it independence from imperial rule, its freedom from unjust and unfair laws and taxations. The celebration of when those colonial rebels bested the British crown. A celebration in remembrance of the rebel spirit  freed this nation and created the term “Americans” but only in the ways the government sees fit, only in the way the government will allow”

 

As I sat in Jack London square last night watching the bombs burst in the air I questioned (as always) how free are we? How free are we not from Imperial rule but how free are we from capitalistic domination. Where does the line between government protection and corporate control end?

 

Adding more salt in the wound is that the majority of the fireworks that are used to celebrate and remind us Americans (and the world for that matter) of our freedom  comes from a nation that is equally known world wide for its oppressions of its people (China). In recent years China had enjoyed an economic boom and most people that cared to think of it thought that more economic freedom would automatically equate more social freedom for its people. The world assumed incorrectly. With more people in China able to afford laptops and internet service the government asked (told rather) the American internet companies to implement search restricting software in its china based programs.  The average Chinese citizen born after 1989 has never even heard of the JUNE 5 1989 (think about that one for a second) democratic protests Tiananmen Square. I know for a fact that by me mentioning that date and those words Chinese search engines will not find this article so just to make sure “Tank Man”

 

The land of the free in bed (in so many and too many ways for me) with the home of the civilly oppressed. I again wonder is this the nation that those colonial rebels had in mind when they stood their ground against the British crown all those many years ago and said.

 

“NO!”

June of 2009 has so far been a month of great loss in the entertainment industry and to the world really. The sheer amount of talent that has passed from this world this month will take generations to replace if ever.

clip_image002 The first passing I heard about was of Bea Arthur, even thought this was not in June it was the start for me. This woman oozed more talent from single pore than what most actors and actress of today can even dream of possessing. I believe it might have been the show “Maude” where I first saw her. Incidentally “Maude” spun off the magnificent “Good Times.” (just like all if the family spun off The Jeffersons) Florida (Flo) was Maude’s maid and James had got a “good job” and the also got into the projects. Florida did not have to work anymore. I don’t think James’ name was even James yet; it might have been Frank or something. I think maybe it might have even “Golden Girls” where I first saw her. I know shortly afterwards I came across the old remake of the even older musical “Mame” with Lucile Ball. I remember seeing Bea in that black dress, and that black hat singing and dancing astonished me as I think she did every other gay male born between the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s.

Just taking a look at her acting credentials alone puts even the bets to shame. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beatrice_Arthur)

Bea Arthur (May 13, 1922 – April 25, 2009) was and actor’s actor and she will be missed.

 

 

 

koko_taylor_lg Cora Walton aka Koko Taylor. She was and probably will remain the undisputed Queen of the Blues earning her crown in a kingdom dominated by men. If you know the blues then I don’t have to go into who this woman was and how much talent this woman graced the world with. Her most recognizable song

“We gone wang dang doodle all night long.”

is merely the tip of a career spanning over 57 years. She produced 17 albums and lived to the age of 81 most of which was spent in the industry.

Koko Taylor (September 28, 1928June 3, 2009) you will be missed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

david-carradine-dead2 David Carradine. If you were alive in the 70’s or 80’s (or have seen the re-runs) then you know what this man is possibly most identifiable for. The role of the monk Kwai Chang Caine was plaid by him for three years and even a short lived spin off in the mid 90’s. A little known fact is that he owes Bruce Lee thanks for receiving the role of Kwai Chang Caine in Kung Fu. It was around the time that Bruce Lee was cast for the Green Hornet and was shooting another movie that the makers of Kung Fu decided on David. They believed that Bruce would not be able to keep to the scheduled and David / Kwai Chang Caine was born.

The most recent performance that comes to mind was that of Bill in “Kill Bill 1 and 2.” There is still some controversy surrounding his death ranging from a debauched sexual act to the Thai Mafia. Whatever the truth is we may not ever find out or one day just as unexpected as his passing we just might.

David Carradine (December 8, 1936 – June 3, 2009) you will be missed.

 

 

 

Farrah_Fawcett_iconic_pinup_1976 We like to think that Angels are immortal; forever beautiful; and beyond reproach just recently we found how mortal one of ours was. Farrah Fawcett was most notably ill Munroe from Charlie’s Angel’s. Like many other attractive actresses she spawned many of pre-adolescent clones in the 70’s. What they could not copy in fashion they did with her signature hair. I would be very negligent if I did not mention her beauty and even though it is somewhat missed on me Ive been told that it was of legend.

Farrah Fawcett (February 2, 1947 – June 25, 2009) you will be missed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ed_mcmahon_1989 What is there that can not be said about this man. He was one part of the most successful late night television show in the history of late night television “the late show with Johnny Carson”. He was the host of the 80’s spectacular (more like spectacle) “Star Search” where if you got all five stars and won the show you would be sure to be forgotten. If you haven to luck up and lose then your career was sure to take off. (Some of the most notable losers were Sin Bad and Rosie O’Donnell.) He was also the spoke person for the publishing clearing sweepstakes in his later years but most will remember him as one of the founding forces in television.

Ed McMahon (March 6, 1923 – June 23, 2009) you will be missed

 

 

 

Michael_Jackson_1984 This one I’m still in a bit of shock over. Michael Jackson “The undisputed KING OF POP” passed away on the 25th of this month and even writing that just does not seem right to me. I feel as if it was something greater than a lie that everyone knows just not to believe but its true Michael Jackson is dead.

I think that I’ll start with 80’s Michael because that’s when I was introduced to him. The first I ever say of him was the “I wanna rock with you” video with him all decked out in sequence. The “off the wall” album was a great success which was only topped by and even greater success, “the bad” with hits like the title track, “billie jean”, and “beat it”. I remember about a week or two after the video to “Beat It” came out all the kids on the playground had these red jackets with random zippers all over the place. I did not have one but of course I wanted one. I think they were like 100 and something bucks and back then (and swiftly catching up now) a 100 and something bucks was a lot of money to spend on a jacket for a child. On a side note Michael Jackson was one (and I might be mistaken but the only) black artist to be played on the new television network MTV.

No one ever thought that opening rift to “Beat It” would ever be topped and then it happened. Michael Jackson introduced the world to “Thriller.” The album defined what and album was by obtaining (and still remains to this day) the number one selling album of all time. The video basically set the standard for what a music video should be from then on out. I could go on and on about the creator of the moon walk. I could rave about The “Remember the time” video. I even tell you all how Wesley Snipes was the antagonist in the “Bad” video but it still does not all seem real to me.

I know that there will be a tremendous amount of haters saying that they are happy he is gone sighting the alleged child molesting accusations or his executrices. Combating them I will not do here because that would add another page and the man is dead. This man shone it this world and did so many things that no other had and probably never will. The man named Michael Jackson gave his life to the public and his fans since the age of 7. He spent 43 years in the industry and the majority of that was always at the top. Michael Jackson was a bright and blazing star amongst the stars.

Michael Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009 ) (wow its really real) you will be greatly missed.

child sneeze Itchy red watery eyes; congested and runny nose, does this sound like you? Then you know what I have been enduring for the past few weeks. Sinuses, Hay fever, whatever your name it all comes down to Allergies.

 

Allergies have ruined many of date and a few interviews for me. Most of the medications I’ve use to counteract the symptoms of the body’s various histamine reactions have in some cases caused worse side effects than the allergy itself. There is a medication (which shall remain nameless) that I once used to decongest my nose. It not only opened the floodgates releasing the mucus from my nose but also set free some blood as well.

 

The reason I am writing this now (June 23, 2009) is because I’m still suffering. One of the many reasons I love summer is because it is an end to allergy season. It is the joyful bliss of cool lemon (or kool) aid in the hot sun. Watching my caramel complexion turn a deeper, richer brown. The start of this “summer” (if it can be call that) I have been afflicted with my condition from a season ago. My head has been so filled with so much mucus that I feel the inside of my nose to the end of my ear throbbing and pounding with pressure. I sneeze thinking that it will bring relief only for it to increase the pressure without the macabre blessing of my head exploding.

 

Why then? For what reason am I and others like myself still in suffering? The meteorologists said something of the short start and stop rains along with the short start and stop heat spells that we had through out our technical spring confused the trees and plants. They said that the trees and plants started releasing their pollen then there were hot days coupled with cold overcastted fogy days so the plats and trees stopped, but they  started up again this month because of the heat and blah blah blah.

 

“Tis the season.” The trees are saying to one another, only it is a season too late.

 

The tree and grass pollen mixed with dust is my blight. It is no fun enjoying a nice cloud free day with a slight breeze only to have it halted when your eyes turn red, then began to water uncontrollable, and finally just swell shut. It is no fun trying to enjoy ice cream not because it complements the summer’s sweet warmth, but because your throat has become sore from breathing hot dry air. The sting and the bite on your esophagus makes swallowing anything other than hot or cold (but nothing temperate) hardly sufferable. All because your nose can no longer serve it’s designated purpose.

 

I would like to blame global warming and I’m pretty sure if I looked hard enough I could find enough evidence much more than exculpatory to support my claims.(I noticed yesterday is was 8:30pm and the sun was still very high in the sky and a good 75 degrees out. I only say this because as I remember it goes

 

“fall forward and spring back”

 

so we are a good ways from any day light savings adjustments.) I could blame the genetics that made me more suited to dry arid climates with no trees and little vegetation. Whatever the blame may be in truth, whatever the ultimate cause I just continue to pray that it all ends soon.

 

Meanwhile I and the hundreds of thousands like myself will continue to haunt the medicine isle of Walgreens, Longs, and Safeways, and blight the uncomfortable chairs at the pharmacy waiting rooms with tissues and rags in hand. We will wait with the hope that soon the running noses will stop. The Itchy red watery eyes will clear; and the congested ears and nose swill open, and then we can blissfully enjoy what is left of the summer.

test-pattern It has been a few days now since I have been without television. Truly it is not that big of a deal to me, but the internet signal that I was using (pirating) has also been shut off and that is where the difficulty arises. I never really watched TV to any great expanse (due to the fact that I did not have cable, and the only channels that did come in clearly were channel 9 (PBS) and channel 7. (I don't know what station that is. I think maybe ABC)

I was one of the many people who claim not to watch television all that much and if I did it was only background noise which was true. It was true because the one eyed goddess that summoned me was ye ole internet. With her is were I would spend the hours and hours on end feasting upon her hypnotic sustenance. With lady internet I delighted in everything that could be imagined and cast aside television. When the desire for television did flash in the background of my mind lady internet provided that as well. I never need to leave her embrace.

When the people whose signal I was using decided not to pay their bill; well that left me in my current rut of no television and no internet at home. I of course have Peet’s cafe with their free internet access, but them closing at 8pm leaves me with huge hunk of time to myself at home. I read of course, and I love to read so I’m not some Oprah experiment pulling my hair out panicking because I am left without technology at home. I also have my DVD’s (which most i have watched twice over now) so the new question now arises.

“Do I buy a converter box"?”

I haven't brought one yet because I don't have the money, and the coupons I had expired. With all the books that I have; all the writing that I plan on doing and need to get done I am asking myself.

“Is it worth it?”

I started back knitting again. (and i remember the reason why I stopped) Knitting was something that I learned because I had lost my glasses and could not read any of my books plus at that time and the TV was out so I needed something to do. It is very boring and monotonous but the results are satisfying. I have a batch of soap setting (another hobby i picked up) and this give me time to finally put out the last and final edit of my book. So then why do i still want to go home and turn on the television if not just to hear it. Could it be that it is a drug that my brain and body has become accustom too? I feel like I'm suffering from “cold turkey syndrome”. Most addiction specialist will tell you now if you’re on multiple drugs don't try to quit them all at once. You are to slowly wean yourself off of them one at a time if you can.

I'm going through technological withdrawal.

I guess this is a good thing.

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I offer my own unique voice, my own vision. I think the saying goes that writers write because no one else can say what they have to say quite the way they have to say it. That is why I write, that is what I offer.

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